FreeThought Fort Wayne

        Be Reasonable

Signs of the times

Posted by JD on July 24, 2008

If you haven’t yet noticed, collecting church sign pics is one of my many inane interests that occupy my mild obsessive-compulsive disorder. Of course, I may only imagine it to be OCD, so maybe I’m more of a hypochondriac. The jury is still out.

Anywho, I like church signs because they do most of the talking for me, and better yet, they are from church leaders so we get small, neatly packaged sound bites from God’s right-hand men piously displayed for all to see every two blocks in case you miss one while you blink.

Let’s see what’s on their collective minds shall we?

That’s a good question. Let’s see if anyone else can answer it:

OK, fair enough.  But I still don’t see the need to go to church.

Well, that’s a little alarming. This is more likely to scare me away. Maybe I should try a different church:

Apparently God is not an omni-speller. Let’s try again:

I’m not yet getting the warm, fuzzy feeling I’m looking for.

Maybe I’m in the wrong part of town…

Really? So we’re all little play things? Next!

No, no. My wife was Catholic. Too much up and down, on your knees stuff for me.

I hope that’s a Star Trek reference!

I’m sensing a theme here…

Maybe I should consider Islam instead:

Maybe not.

Definitely not for me then! Next!

Needless to say, I got my 10 bucks…

Quite a paradox there…

Now that sounds a little more interesting!

Apparently, theists are experts with their tongues.

Too much info. What’s the deal with the sex obsession?

That would explain why they know so much about tongues.

That’s tempting, but I’m afraid of who would be nominated.

More speaking in tongues…

That’s a little too personal to share with perfect strangers (no pun actually intended!).

Ah, so there is a catch!

Boy, they just come right out with it there!

I hope they don’t talk about tongues there!

Sounds like someone’s been shuffling Catholic priests around. That can’t be his real name. It must have been meant to be.

Getting warmer…

Oh, you lost me again!

I don’t think I could give money to churches in Crooksville.

No luck for today. I’ll find the right church for me even if it kills me. This’ll have to be continued in part deux:

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4 Responses to “Signs of the times”

  1. “swallow when you want to spit”

    if I had a nickel…

  2. […] what do they really mean?Theodoersing has compiled an amusing collection of, shall we say, misguided church signs. Very funny. #Blog Roll How-ToGred Laden has a great introduction to and how-to on blog rolls, […]

  3. agnohumanist said

    Thanks for the laughs, Theo! Those are a riot. Enjoyed your commentary.

  4. Tom Coward said

    Great signs! I think the ‘alien’ refernces are to “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and “Dr. Who.”

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